I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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