Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
