awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
