is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize