we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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