I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
the day after is always just damage control
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
