Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
