my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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