So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
