Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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