quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Boobs are out for the taking
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
