what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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