Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
