I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
And then he peed in my hair
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