Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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