But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
