sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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