Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
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I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
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then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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