If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
