I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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