Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
