Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just google imaged poop.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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