Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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