i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize