I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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