and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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