I can't breathe out the right side of my face
just tell him i said nine months
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
