I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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