would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
