How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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