We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
organizing the empties. That sober.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
