dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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