Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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