I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
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im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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