You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
