why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
