i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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