What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
