she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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