Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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