Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
