I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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