Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
