...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
