I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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