Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
