I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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