I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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