I hate all girls vehemently.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
