On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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