Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
She said her name was "party"
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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