Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
