I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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