I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
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