So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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