i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
