that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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