Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize