Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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