Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
