I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
