Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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