I puked a lego.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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