remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
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No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
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A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.