Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
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